What to wear to a funeral

If there's one thing guaranteed to exercise the minds of mourners it's the age-old 'What should I wear to a funeral?' question. Above all, common sense, and sensitivity to any special family wishes, are the key to wearing something suitable. The one certainty is that funerals are becoming less formal, and that the obligatory black funeral clothes of Victorian times are long-since a thing of the past.

What do you wear to a funeral?

General guidelines

If in any doubt about what to wear, mourners are still encouraged to choose more subdued, formal, dress, particularly for a religious ceremony or the funeral of an older, more conservative, person. You can't go wrong with something smart, unfussy and comfortable (perhaps with a dark coat or jacket). Many commentators recommend taking your lead from what you'd wear to a job interview or from any special request from the family. If in doubt, ask what you should wear.

Increasingly, mourners are invited to wear brighter colours, summer dresses or something equally upbeat. Some people, especially the young and the young at heart, have a strong dislike for anything 'sombre and depressing'. Because people's tastes and interests vary so much, be prepared for something completely different when choosing what to wear to a funeral. One online forum even references a Star Trek themed funeral while another describes the black and purple funeral attire requested for a young Goth woman's send off...

What to wear to a funeral?

Guidelines for men

Traditional etiquette dictates a black suit, plain white shirt and a subdued plain tie for men. Nowadays, however, all sorts of variations are acceptable, including darker (navy blue, grey or even dark green) business suits with or without a tie; even dark turtlenecks or smart black T-shirts can have their place along with brighter accent colours depending on the family's wishes.

Guidelines for women

For a traditional approach to what to wear at a funeral, women will probably opt for a black suit (with a skirt or trousers). Less traditional options might could include a black cocktail dress (plain and neither too short or low-cut) or something in navy, burgundy or grey. In colder weather, a smart black or dark skirt and sweater, or a long-sleeved dark dress, is approropriate. Hats, though not essential, are still appropriate, but, as with the choice of footwear, you should avoid anything too ostentatious.

Depending upon the religious context, be aware of the need to keep shoulders and heads (Greek Orthodox or Jewish ceremonies) covered.

The modern funeral

Above all, ensuring that you wear something appropriate to the person whose life is being celebrated, and consistent with the wishes of the family, lies at the heart of modern funeral etiquette.

When it comes to making these wishes known to the people who'll attend your funeral, what could be better than clear instructions in a letter of wishes, or recorded on a secure online funeral planning resource. The Well Planned Funeral makes this simple with its easy to use Your Funeral Plans and Wishes product. This lets you plan every aspect of your funeral and keep the details safe and secure with your will and anything else you want people to remember you for.

Further Helpful Advice

The pain of funerals can be softened by throughtful advance planning. Need help choosing flowers for the funeral? Should you ask someone to read some poems for the funeral? Or should some sing a favourite funeral song?